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A MyLungCancerTeam Member asked a question 💭
istanbul

It's been one month since my dad's metastatic lung cancer diagnosis. He got sick 3 days ago and had high fever that we were told to go to ER. He started antibiotics, I am feeling really burnt out from hurrying between doctors and all the fear of not understanding what is happening. What should I do? How do other family members deal with this? What would you recommend as a patient about what the best thing for close family to do is?

May 5, 2025
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MyLungCancerTeam

It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and exhausted during this challenging time. The first step is acknowledging that you need support too. Breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable steps can help reduce feeling overwhelmed. Set limits and don't be afraid to ask others for help when you need it. Consider creating a Show Full Answer

It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and exhausted during this challenging time. The first step is acknowledging that you need support too. Breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable steps can help reduce feeling overwhelmed. Set limits and don't be afraid to ask others for help when you need it. Consider creating a schedule or calendar to avoid overscheduling and help manage doctor appointments more effectively.

Remember that prioritizing your own wellbeing isn't selfish - it's necessary to be able to provide good care. Try to make time for stress-reducing activities like going outside, meditation, or any calming hobby you enjoy. Being your father's advocate is important, but so is having clear communication with healthcare providers. Don't hesitate to ask questions about timing of results, treatment plans, or anything you don't understand. Request access to patient portals to review medical information when needed. Consider bringing a notebook to appointments to write down questions and information.

Many caregivers find great comfort in connecting with support groups where they can talk with others going through similar experiences. Mental health professionals can also provide valuable support in managing anxiety and stress during this difficult journey. Remember, taking care of yourself enables you to be a better caregiver for your father.

May 5, 2025
A MyLungCancerTeam Member

Hi alHarmandar,
I am a caregiver to my husband, it is pretty much just him and me. I take off of work to take him to ALL his appointments, I now do all the shopping (grocery shopping was his happy place, still is), errands, pharmacy, you name it. We do most of this together now. I joined this group not only to compare notes with other patients, but to find a sense of community. When we first learned about having Stage 4 it seemed like our world fell apart. It was overwhelming, lots of tears, sleepless nights, uncertainty.
What has helped me is taking it one day at a time. I know it sounds simple, but it works. When I look too far into the future I get overwhelmed. I become anxious, tearful, I can't catch my breath. The future takes me to really dark places and I fall into this low place. When I focus on the day, sometimes even the hour, it grounds me. I focus on the task at hand and nothing more. I focus on my husband's smile, his presence, his smell, his voice. Sure, it is ok to look ahead, maybe toward the weekend, but I honestly do not look further than that. This is what has helped me.
I also fall asleep saying the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary. I see you all aren't religious, but this is also a form of meditation. Have you tried meditation? I love doing full body scan meditations, gratitude meditations, grounding meditations. I never really knew about it or practiced it, but it has helped.
It is easy to say "I know how you feel," but I don't know how you feel, I only know how I feel. I only know what has helped me. I hope these small suggestions will help you, even if it is just a little.
Sending you so much comfort and peace, we are here for you.
❤️Deb

May 6, 2025
A MyLungCancerTeam Member

Al look into seeing a psychiatrist. I was crying all the time and have been put on 2 medications which has helped alot. This is so much to deal with.

May 5, 2025
A MyLungCancerTeam Member

Wow what a hard hit Teresa I'll add you to my prayers for peace of mind and body during this difficult time.

May 8, 2025
A MyLungCancerTeam Member

Teresa, may he rest in peace and I hope you get well soon. journaling is a good idea I will do that, thanks. Please take care of yourself

May 8, 2025

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